Australian singer-songwriter Sia has opened up about her near suicide attempt.
Sia has had a remarkably interesting career, starting in the indie world before becoming a huge pop star with songs like “Chandelier” and “Cheap Thrills.”
However, she’s always made an effort to only reveal as much as necessary, remaining private and often obscuring her face completely. In a new interview with Rolling Stone, she’s opened up about her struggles with mental health and suicide attempt.
One of Sia’s first big breaks came when her song “Breathe Me” closed out the series finale of cult favorite show Six Feet Under, although she says it was a song she had a near-death experience writing.
She says she tried to kill herself by taking 22 Valium and drinking a whole bottle of vodka. “Unfortunately, you can only commit sleep on Valium—or should I say fortunately.”
When “Breathe Me” became a moderate success for her in 2005, she says it didn’t stop her suicidal thoughts. In 2010, she planned to check herself into a hotel and take all the pills she had, writing letters to both the maid and hotel manager that read;
“Please do not come in. I am dead inside. Please call an ambulance.”
Fortunately, an old friend called her before she went through with anything. She explained;
“There must have been a part of me that really wanted to live, because in that moment, I thought, ‘There’s a world out there and I’m not a part of it. But I might like to be.”